Impress your friends with the fastest pesto recipe that respects the tradition, straight from Liguria region in Italy. Why settle for bullshit lookalikes in a jar when in a couple of minutes you could have the real thing? First of all remove all your clothes

Now get a paper towel wet and wrap it around a bottle of good white wine, put it in the freezer and get ready - by the time it's chilled you'll be lighting up candles and serving a dish of trofie al pesto so good and quick to make your date won't have time to say "ciû abbelinòu che lungo".


  • Fresh basil leaves -- about 60 leaves or 50g
  • Olive oil -- 6 tbsp
  • Cooking salt -- 1 teaspoon
  • Pecorino Romano cheese -- 2 tbsp
  • Parmesan cheese -- 6 tbsp
  • Pine nuts -- 1 tbsp
  • Garlic - 2 small cloves
  • Trofie pasta, you can also use spaghetti if you're stupid - 500g

These amount are for two persons after a lot of bedroom workout, looking forward to make some more (pesto is an aphrodisiac, thanks to the copious amounts of basil)


Best way to make an original pesto genovese would be with a mortar and pestle, but who the fuck has one? Therefore we're going to use a chef's knife and a lot of bravado, because fuck mortars when you have to carry them in a backpack.

Boil water with a pinch of salt.

In the meantime, on a wooden board, mince the pine nuts as well, and grate the cheeses, each ingredient in its own cup to simplify the mixing process.

Peel and finely mince both the garlic cloves, together with the salt (just a tiny bit, the Pecorino Romano cheese you will add is extremely salty!), holding the knife by the tip and moving the handle up and down as fast as your cooking skills allow.

Add the grated pine nuts to this compound and keep on cutting like a coke dealer with too much aspirin on his hands.

Break some of the basil leaves with your fingers and mince them in, slowly adding leaves as the mixture becomes a pulp.

When you have finely cut all the basil move everything to a bowl or dish and add the oil and the cheeses as you stir with a tablespoon.

The result should be juicy but not too oily.

Look at the time it's almost wine o clock, get your bottle out and pop it like a fleshy drupe, it should be at perfect temperature by now.

Water should be boiling, drop the trofie in and stir.

As soon as they float on the surface try one and if it's cooked drain (always keep some cooking water) and serve in dishes.

Add your pesto, stir well, grate a generous amount of parmesan and dig in.


Best served with white wine from Liguria or southern Piedmont region to celebrate the beginning of your holidays with chilled alchool, great pasta and a lot of lovemaking.


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